Running hot and cold

I had a conversation tonight that went something like this:

"Do you have a pillow that is not an incubus of viral plague?  Do you have a functioning heater?  I'm freezing, please turn the heat up."

~About 5 minutes later after offering a blanket and letting the heater kick on~

"It's too hot in here!  Turn the air on!"

Sometimes you just can't win...  In the meantime, no oral pathology was learned.